mmmm......PIE!!!

I was at a business social this week.  In addition to the regular too-fancy-to eat typical hor d' oeuvres, there was a pie station!  A pie station!  And, not any pie station, but a pie station with little tiny homemade handpies.  Not only was there to-die-for triple berry pie but there was also a savory little tomato herb number, with the flakiest of crusts.

The only problem was that the table was way off to the side of the main thoroughfare and there wasn't much traffic or people standing around the table (for reasons I don't understand), plus the pie lady was standing behind the table all night long...as though she was keeping track of how many pies each person consumed.  Now, this set-up isn't so bad if you're a person with a little self control and can limit yourself to one or two little pies, but if you're a pie addict with limited impulse control, this creates a little bit of an awkward situation.  Especially, if every time you go to grab pie you feel compelled to justify why you've come back to get more pie, certain that the pie lady recognizes you and is judging you for being so greedy.

My compulsion to talk with the pie lady stems from this philosophy I have that if the stinky kid in class self declares himself to be stinky, no one can tease him about.  Similarly, if the pie piggy calls herself out, no one else will think anything of it.  I admit, it might be a flawed philosophy. 

So, all evening, not only did I pig out on handpies, I also made a bigger deal of the situation than was needed.  As a greedily snatched another pie off the platter, I asked rhetorical questions like, "whose the little piggy back for more pie?" and "what do you put in these things to make them so addictive?"  On other visits to the pie counter, I'd say things like "You'd think I hadn't eaten for a week the way I'm downing this little guys" or "Mmmm...pie."  All the while knowing that my presence at the table would be far less noticeable (and embarrassing) if I could just shut up, grab a pie, and go.

It ended up that I was one of the last few people at the event (not just because of the pies, mind you).  At this point, the pie lady left her stand unmanned for a few minutes (so I took my opportunity to grab a few more pies without being judged.  Score!) and as she was walking back to her table to start packing up, one of my friends engaged her on the topic of her delicious pies.  That brought the pie lady into our group and we talked a little bit about her shop and her pies.  Then, I felt compelled to make one final comment about the sheer number of pies I consumed that evening.  Instead of responding, "Oh I didn't notice," she said, "Oh, it wasn't that many."  Ah ha!  She had been counting!