Sales Pitching

I admit it! I'm a people pleaser!  Supposedly, admitting the problem is the first step to recovery, but I haven't found that to be true.  No matter what, I want people to like me.  I want people to think I'm nice.  I want people to think I'm fun.  And, I agonize, for days, if I think someone thought I was rude or unfriendly.  This means that I walk around with a huge target on my back for all those aggressive sales pitchers (you know, the ones who rely on the niceness of people and try to make the pitchee feel like she is the rude one if she won't listen to the entire pitch and commitment to some further step).

Last week, I was sitting in my office getting some work done when my phone rang (see here to read more about my general dislike for unscheduled phone calls).  I sighed out loud and saw that it was someone calling from Northwestern Mutual*, thinking it may be a referral prospect or a client advisor needing assistance for a mutual client, I answered the phone. 

"Hello, this is Adam ******** from Northwestern Mutual.  I found you on your company's website.  I am new to the area and am trying to make professional contacts.  Based on the information on your website, I think we might be of potential benefit to each other through client referrals and I wonder if I can buy you a cup of coffee so that we can get acquainted."

Me:  "Ummmm.  Sure that would be fine."

Adam:  "Great!  I promise this won't be sales pitch, just a chance to get to know each other and how we might be able to help each other through referrals."

So we set up the appointment to meet.  I've been around the block a few times and expected the meeting would ultimately be for the purpose of him pitching me to refer clients to him or use him for my own personal needs, but I figure it'd only be a few minutes of my life and that at least I'd get a free Starbuck's drink out of the deal (I subscribe to the theory of the "latte factor," (you can read more about it here on David Bach's website finishrich.com) that you can get rich by making small daily choices to save money by cutting out something as small as a latte--I take this literally and very very rarely ever treat myself to a Starbuck's beverage).  Mr. Adam was supposed to email me a confirmation, which he never did, so I was not sure whether he would actually show up or not.  But because we were meeting at my office and then walking to Starbuck's, either outcome would have been okay with me.  If he didn't show up, I gained an extra 30 minutes in my life. If he showed up, I got a free Starbuck's drink.

The appointed day and hour arrived and I received a call from the receptionist.  "Your gentlemen are here to see you." 

"My gentlemen?" I thought.  "There is more than one of them?"  "Ohhhhhhh, that's just great...."

I walk to the lobby and there are in fact two suited men to see me.  "Hi, Looky.  I'm Adam, and this is Nathan.  I wasn't sure if Nathan would be in town to join us, but you're in luck he was able to join us."

"Oh boy, am I ever in luck." I think.  "Get acquainted, my foot.  This is going to be a full-court press."  I started heading to the elevator to get the Starbuck's show on the road.  As I'm at the elevator waiting for it to arrive, Adam asks very perplexed, "Uhhhhhh, where are we going?"

Me:  "Oh, I thought we were going to get coffee."

Adam:  "Ummmm.....oh.  Or, we could just meet here instead?"

"In my office?!?  You jack***!" I think to myself.  What a pain.  I certainly wasn't going to take these jokers to my actual office because I wasn't sure I'd ever get them to leave, so I worked with the receptionist to find an open conference room for our little impromptu meeting.  After a few minutes we finally get situated in a conference room.  Without a Starbuck's beverage in my hand, I might add.

Adam:  "I thought I'd let Nathan run this meeting since he's done this more often than I have."

Me:  "Okay."

Nathan:  "So how much time do you have? Forty-five or..."

Me:  "I only have 20 minutes."

Nathan:  "Ohhhhh wow....20 minutes?"

Me:  "Yes, I typically have a more flexible schedule, but unfortunately my schedule is packed today and I only have 20 minutes."

Nathan:  "O..K...I guess we'll make this quick."

And then, he launches into to all the wonderful products Northwestern Mutual can provide and all the wonderful things it can do for me.  Then, he starts asking the typical, "What is your household income? How much life insurance do you have?  Do you have disability insurance? etc. etc."  Because we take our finances seriously, I'm able to answer all of the questions in a way that closes doors to further pitches.

Nathan (looking at his watch):  "Well, we want to be respectful of your time and we're just now at 20 minutes.  I wonder if..."

Me (while pushing my chair back from the table and thinking "respectful of my time, ohhhhhh pulease"):  "Great! Well, thanks for your time, I appreciate it."

Nathan:  "Well, it seems like you're pretty squared away for now, but I wonder if we could keep you on our list to check in with periodically to see if things change?"

Me:  "Sure.  I guess that would be fine."

We say our official goodbyes and I go back to my office fuming!  Everything about the interaction was calculated to make me feel awkward enough to acquiesce to these jokers' demands.  I'm offered coffee, but then I feel like I've committed a social faux pas by expecting I'll actually get coffee.  I've agreed to give up a portion of my life and then I feel uncomfortable or rude because I only allocated 20 minutes to the endeavor. I'm told there would not be a sales pitch, that the meeting was only for the purpose of getting to know another professional, and then I'm forced to listen to a sales pitch and disclose personal financial information, and to do otherwise would have made me feel very uncomfortable and rude.  I can't stand the typical pushy salesmen, but at least I've never had one of them take me away from my work with offers of time spent in a potentially mutually beneficial way, and over a free Starbuck's beverage, only to renege on the whole deal, except, of course, the part where I have to waste my time pulled away from work for some useless purpose.

I have one thing to say to you, Adam from Northwestern Mutual.  You better believe I'll be ready for your next phone call.  Yes, sir, I will!  I sure bet you'll be sorry when....when....when....I most likely, politely decline any further invitation to coffee or to engage in further discussions but give you permission to keep me on your list to check up on periodically.  So there!

*The names of the guilty have not been changed