I'm a person who typically uses public restrooms more often than the bathroom in my home, so I've complied a little list of tips of inappropriate or awkward public restroom behavior for those who may not frequent public restrooms as often as I.
Tip # 1. Do Not Make Noises of Pleasure (or Displeasure, for that Matter)
My mom is raging extrovert and likes to bring everyone in on the fun occurrences of life (and pretty much any occurrence can be a fun occurrence), stranger or not. On more than one occasion, I've been out and about with my mom and she has waited until the last minute to find a public bathroom and then needs to make an emergency potty stop. After wincing and doing the potty dance until she makes it to the stall, she'll plop onto the pot and immediately begin saying things like "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh my goodness, that feels so good!!!! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!" in a loud pornographic-type whisper and continues the whispering for the duration of the potty stop. This is not appropriate public restroom behavior, nor would whispers of displeasure or pain be appropriate public restroom noises.
Tip #2 Once the Stall Door Closes, all Conversation Must Cease
This isn't so much of a problem at public restrooms outside of the work place (unless you're a raging extrovert) but people don't go to the bathroom to catch up on the latest happenings. They go for one reason, and its selfish and personal. The basic rule is that once the stall door closes, all communications should stop, with the exception of a request for toilet paper if one finds herself in a stall that is not adequately stalked. Most people understand this rule, but there are a few outliers in my office. Although I'm not a huge fan of the conversation between stalls when both people are on the potty, the most awkward is when one person has finished her business and is about to exit the restroom when another person walks in and starts up a conversation while marching herself into a stall and promptly closing the door. When this happens, I find myself standing awkwardly talking to stall door and waiting impatiently for the opportunity to not-too-abruptly end the conversation and make a beeline out of the bathroom but being conflicted feeling that the chatty voice behind the stall door expects me to stay and chat (in the sometimes somewhat unpleasant smelling) bathroom while she finishes. Um, no thank you!
Tip # 3. Do Not Bring Reading Material to a Public Restroom Unless it Fits in your Pocket
In my office, the mens' and womens' bathroom are next door to each other and in the middle of a hallway at least 100 feet long. The hallway is bounded on either end by high traffic routes which means the walk to and from the bathroom can feel like the walk of shame.
Most of the time when people go to the restroom in our office, they arrive and leave (thankfully) empty handed. But this week I noticed an owner of the company taking the walk of shame and enter into the mens' room with a book in his hand. Now, it is possible, that someone could enter the bathroom, book in hand, and then plan to continue on to a meeting outside of the office or to a colleague's office and not want to backtrack after the potty stop to pick up the book. But I know a legitimate work-related book when I see one and this was not it. Now, I get it that many people read books or look at magazines when doing their business in the privacy of their own home, and that's okay. But at work when you have to take the walk of shame book in hand, please forego the book, like the rest of us. The book-in-hand-potty stop really provides too much information for those around.
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